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get out of your head and into your vagina

9/17/2016

What makes a burlesque performer so sexy? The answer might surprise you. It’s not her body, or her dancing ability. It’s her self-awareness.

An incredible singer, Caela Bailey, once gave Sinner Saint Burlesque some wise advice while we were preparing backstage, and we’ve been using the mantra ever since.

When anyone gets stuck, is feeling disconnected from their source of power, or when they’re just over-thinking something, we say, “Get out of your head and into your vagina.”

the reveal

9/17/2016

“It’s not about seducing men, it’s about embracing womanhood.” –Dita Von Teese

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: stripping. A large part of my burlesque performances include taking my clothes off for crowds of cheering people (most of whom are women) in a sexy, fun and liberated manner. Many people have conflicting attitudes and feelings about this. Inevitably, these people ask two big questions people ask about stripping and burlesque:

Why do you use nudity?
Isn’t stripping objectifying women?

take up SPACE

9/17/2016

Anytime I enter a brand new venue, I take a few minutes to examine the space and how I will use it. Can I walk through the aisles? Can I jump on a table? How can I best use the lighting? How much room can I take up? As a performer I want to take up as much space as possible, both physically and energetically. (This relates to being big, like we discussed last time.) I want to use the environment around me as part of my presentation. It is my job to project myself all the way through a room, and to own the space.

there's no such thing as too big

9/17/2016

I once learned an important lesson about feminine leadership while attempting to glue gargantuan fake eyelashes onto my eyelids. I was being schooled by experienced performer Lady Tatas, and I asked if my eyelashes were too big.

Aghast, with a face only a horrified showgirl could make, she sternly replied, “No, no, no. You must never say such a thing. There is no such thing as too big.”

INCREASE YOUR PLEASURE: HOW TO WORK A BOA

9/17/2016

“…what I am making a case for is the position that for our ancestors both life and pleasure were within the realm of the sacred. In short, I believe that – in sharp contrast to much of later religious imagery and dogma, which often sacralizes suffering and pain – our ancestors sacralized pleasure, particularly the most intense physical pleasure we are given to feel: the pleasure of sexual ecstasy.” – Riane Eisler, Sacred Pleasures

Sinner Saint Burlesque was getting ready for its first tour to Alaska, where we were to perform our show, “F orces of Nature.” We were beyond excited to venture north and connect with our friends at VivaVoom Burlesque. As we were getting ready to go, we received a message from a contact saying that they couldn’t put our posters up around town. We looked too sexy. The strange thing is that the poster only featured our head shots. I couldn’t believe it. Ourheads looked too sexy?! There was pleasure written all over our faces. In fact, one of the biggest taboos that burlesque addresses is female pleasure.

PERFECTION, SPREZZATURA & VULNERABILITY

9/17/2016

Perfection. I know her well. She shows up in every bar of music I choreograph, every rhinestone I glue, and every stocking I remove. She has a special name, Sprezzatura, or the art of effortlessness.

In The Book of the Courtier, Baldassare Castiglione described sprezzatura as a “nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it.” It's an “easy facility in accomplishing difficult actions which hides the conscious effort that went into them,” according to Wayne Rebhorn (1978). Harry Berger Jr. (2002) considers it a “form of defensive irony: the ability to disguise what one really desires, feels, thinks, and means or intends behind a mask of apparent reticence and nonchalance.”

The Pussy Check

9/17/2016

Did you know that studies have been done to estimate the ideal ratio of positive to negative feedback? Here's an example from Harvard Business Review on the ideal praise to criticism ratio. The ability to assess if your intention matches your impact is an important leadership skill. Us showgirls have a very special name for this... It's called the "pussy check."

Ecofeminism, Rhinestones & Forces of Nature

1/18/2016

God > Man > Woman > Child > Animals > Nature. That is the hierarchy presented to us according to the patriarchy. What happens when burlesque, environmentalism and feminism join forces? A remarkable celebration and exploration of ecofeminism.

(For those of you who participated in my Burlesque for the Boardroom programs, or who have purchased the workbook...You may remember me talking about a poster that was "too sexy" to post around town. That poster and that show are back to bring you ecofeminism, rhinestones and forces of nature!)

Manis, Pedis and Peacemaking

11/25/2015

Last week I helped run the spa area at BurlyCon, a magnificent, sparkly, educational event. My role at the spa was to help attendees ensure they were receiving rest, relaxation and pampering during their intense four days of learning.

This brought up a lot of conversations about the importance of insisting on self-care, about pampering, and about pleasure. I felt particularly grateful for those reminders, especially with all the terrible and tragic events happening around the world. However, mid manicure I started having an identity crisis...

HOW GOOD EYEBROWS HELP FIGHT MISOGYNY

8/20/2015

photo by Lou Daprile

How do good eyebrows and mirror neurons help fight misogyny and make you a better leader? Explore this lesson from Burlesque for the Boardroom to find out...