Did you know that studies have been done to estimate the ideal ratio of positive to negative feedback? Here's an example from Harvard Business Review on the ideal praise to criticism ratio. The ability to assess if your intention matches your impact is an important leadership skill. Us showgirls have a very special name for this... It's called the "pussy check."
The intention of a pussy check is to make sure that you aren’t showing anything you don't want to, and that you are showing everything you do want to.
We’re looking for untucked labia, unruly tampon strings (which you should always cut), misguided rhinestones, stray hair, skin blemishes and bruises, a surprise menstrual cycle, and uneven carpet tape. We want to know if our garters are even, if our merkins are attached, and if our g-strings are crusty. (Yes, I said it. G-strings are an entirely different topic related to costuming which can be addressed at a later time).
The pussy check is really about asking for immediate and direct feedback. The essence of the pussy check is not as much about making a good impression as it is about finding out how authentically you are showing up.
This can be a scary question. Not “is my tampon string showing,” but, “how am I coming across?” It’s a really, really scary question. It touches on one of my biggest limiting beliefs…that if I show up as my full self I might scare people away, or that I might hurt people I care about. In short, you might not love me if I show you who I really am.
However, what’s even scarier is the prospect of living, loving, and working at 50% of my capacity. I need feedback to know how I am doing, and if my intentions match my impact. I need to take the risk, confront my limiting beliefs, and find out if they are true. I need my sisters to hold me accountable to being my greatest self. And, in doing so, I help them become their greatest selves.
Start making direct and immediate feedback a regular part of your conversations. Did someone’s personal presence have a positive impact on you? Tell them. Ask for feedback about how you are showing up. Pussy check your life!
We’re looking for untucked labia, unruly tampon strings (which you should always cut), misguided rhinestones, stray hair, skin blemishes and bruises, a surprise menstrual cycle, and uneven carpet tape. We want to know if our garters are even, if our merkins are attached, and if our g-strings are crusty. (Yes, I said it. G-strings are an entirely different topic related to costuming which can be addressed at a later time).
The pussy check is really about asking for immediate and direct feedback. The essence of the pussy check is not as much about making a good impression as it is about finding out how authentically you are showing up.
This can be a scary question. Not “is my tampon string showing,” but, “how am I coming across?” It’s a really, really scary question. It touches on one of my biggest limiting beliefs…that if I show up as my full self I might scare people away, or that I might hurt people I care about. In short, you might not love me if I show you who I really am.
However, what’s even scarier is the prospect of living, loving, and working at 50% of my capacity. I need feedback to know how I am doing, and if my intentions match my impact. I need to take the risk, confront my limiting beliefs, and find out if they are true. I need my sisters to hold me accountable to being my greatest self. And, in doing so, I help them become their greatest selves.
Start making direct and immediate feedback a regular part of your conversations. Did someone’s personal presence have a positive impact on you? Tell them. Ask for feedback about how you are showing up. Pussy check your life!
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