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Today I've got a tactic that will help you emphasize things that are important to you. It will make what you are saying more memorable and help you express yourself.
It’s the magie of trois. Repetition is a strategy commonly used in burlesque to increase anticipation, to highlight a point, or to reflect significance. Things that come in threes are funnier, more pleasing, and usually more effective. We call it the rule of three. |
When you’re doing something important, repeat it three times, or use three examples to make your point. The emphasis draws attention to the significance of your actions. Great speakers, from Winston Churchill to Martin Luther King, have used the rule of three in their most profound speeches. Even Schoolhouse Rock has a song about 3 being a magic number. You've got the triple goddess, the three musketeers, and the three little pigs. Murray Bowen, systems theory and family therapy pioneer, theorized that a two-person human system was unstable and would default to three people under stress (hence ‘triangulation’). There's even a Latin saying, "omne trium perfectum," which means, ’perfection comes in threes’.
The rule of three helps audiences focus on what is important. “Acts of attention are woven throughout the very fabric of emotional intelligence because at the level of brain architecture the dividing line between emotion and attention blurs” (Daniel Goleman, Focus). Great performers and choreographers know this intuitively, and create performance art that directly speaks to audiences’ emotions and attention. Audiences are better able to remember things in threes: 3 points, 3 steps, 3 ideas, 3 takeaways, 3 tips, etc. As Lewis Carroll (author of Alice in Wonderland) once wrote, “What I tell you three times is true.” So the next time you want to make a point, a plan, or pitch, use the rule of three.
The rule of three helps audiences focus on what is important. “Acts of attention are woven throughout the very fabric of emotional intelligence because at the level of brain architecture the dividing line between emotion and attention blurs” (Daniel Goleman, Focus). Great performers and choreographers know this intuitively, and create performance art that directly speaks to audiences’ emotions and attention. Audiences are better able to remember things in threes: 3 points, 3 steps, 3 ideas, 3 takeaways, 3 tips, etc. As Lewis Carroll (author of Alice in Wonderland) once wrote, “What I tell you three times is true.” So the next time you want to make a point, a plan, or pitch, use the rule of three.
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photos by Witty Pixel
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You can deepen your listening skills by using the rule of three as well. For example, when I coach clients, I hone in on the thoughts or phrases they repeat three or more times. Picking up on these cues and acknowledging their importance helps me better understand them, and helps them feel more deeply listened to. This builds connection and trust, key leadership qualities.
Likewise, when I want to remember something, I use the rule of three. I use it when trying to make an affirmation stick, when making a big decision, and when I’m prioritizing my goals. In my meditation practice, I listen for the judgments, questions and stories I repeat to myself as a way to better understand any mental blocks, resistance or core desires I need to pay more attention to.
If telling an audience something three times makes it true, what about the things we tell ourselves over and over and over? What phrases are you repeating to yourself? What phrases do you want to repeat to yourself?
“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” – Buddha
Likewise, when I want to remember something, I use the rule of three. I use it when trying to make an affirmation stick, when making a big decision, and when I’m prioritizing my goals. In my meditation practice, I listen for the judgments, questions and stories I repeat to myself as a way to better understand any mental blocks, resistance or core desires I need to pay more attention to.
If telling an audience something three times makes it true, what about the things we tell ourselves over and over and over? What phrases are you repeating to yourself? What phrases do you want to repeat to yourself?
“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” – Buddha
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Today, use a mindfulness approach, and take time to
listen to your thoughts. Our thoughts not only inform our emotions, they
construct our reality. Set a timer for ten minutes. Find a comfortable and
quiet place to sit. Still your body. Pretend you are listening to the radio so
that you can keep a loving detachment from the thoughts that may run through your
mind.
What phrases are on repeat? What is popping up in threes? Is there a truth trying to be revealed? |
Notice the next time someone repeats something 3 times. Was it an advertisement, or someone struggling to be heard? During at least one conversation today, when you feel passionate about something, repeat your point 3 times. You can change the wording, but stick to your guns! Write down peoples’ reactions in your journal.
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Speaking of threes...do you know three people who are participating in the upcoming weeks? If not, make sure to join the Facebook group and meet three new friends! Or, invite three friends to join you in boosting their influence, confidence and leadership. Use this link to invite them to sign up.
