“…what I am making a case for is the position that for our ancestors both life and pleasure were within the realm of the sacred. In short, I believe that – in sharp contrast to much of later religious imagery and dogma, which often sacralizes suffering and pain – our ancestors sacralized pleasure, particularly the most intense physical pleasure we are given to feel: the pleasure of sexual ecstasy.” – Riane Eisler, Sacred Pleasure
Lady Tatas - photo by Greg Holloway
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Sinner Saint Burlesque was getting ready for its first tour to Alaska, where we were to perform our show, “Forces of Nature.” We were beyond excited to venture north and connect with our friends at VivaVoom Burlesque. As we were getting ready to go, we received a message from a contact saying that they couldn’t put our posters up around town. We looked too sexy. The strange thing is that the poster only featured our head shots. I couldn’t believe it. Our heads looked too sexy?! There was pleasure written all over our faces. In fact, one of the biggest taboos that burlesque addresses is female pleasure. (Hey, Remember this?)
When I imagine burlesque performers, I think of people who are sexy and confident…not because they have perfect bodies but because they are openly enjoying themselves. They allow themselves bliss. They take the time to feel, to breathe, to taste, to hunger for, and to savor life. |
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A feather boa is a classic burlesque prop used to evoke pleasure. When you work with a boa, you focus on making the audience wish they could touch the boa. You help them imagine how luxurious it is, and how good it feels to run the soft feathers over your skin. By observing you enjoy the boa, audience members will vicariously enjoy it too (you can thank mirror neurons for that).
Women have learned many limiting beliefs about pleasure. They hold stories that they haven't worked hard enough to be allowed to feel good, that it is more important that someone else receives pleasure, or that they are not worthy of receiving pleasure. Pleasure has even been considered dangerous, obscene, and immoral. I strongly believe that feminine leadership integrates pleasure. I don’t know about you, but when I take the time to enjoy the simple (or significant) pleasures in life, I feel stronger, healthier, happier, and more powerful. If we want to live in a world where women do more than struggle to create a work-life balance then we must begin to insist on making time for pleasure as a part of that formula. Don’t wait for someone else to give you permission. Don’t wait until your calendar clears up in two months. Do. It. Now. Begin rewriting your relationship with pleasure. |
Lady Tatas - photo by Deborah Spencer
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Feminine leadership integrates and celebrates pleasure.
Decide that pleasure is important to you. Find ways to feel pleasure every day. Create a pleasure ritual for yourself. First, take 10 minutes to write
in your journal: What is your relationship to pleasure? Next, make a list of
ten things that give you pleasure. Select one and do it right now.
Having a hard time letting go of the stress or to-do list to make room for pleasure? Here is my favorite poem on letting go. |
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Pleasure expands when it is shared. Make a pleasure playdate with a friend. Go wine tasting. Sample chocolate. Get a massage. Go listen to your favorite band. Then post about it! Invite your friend to sign up using this link - we've got two weeks left.
