Accentuating your eyebrows is an important step in applying stage makeup. Pronounced eyebrows help audiences accurately read your facial expressions, making it easier to absorb your message. This is part of a larger makeup ritual we call, “finding your face.”
Clear facial expressions are important in building emotional congruency, which is essential for performers. Simply put, emotional congruency occurs when your face matches what you are feeling. If you are happy, you look happy. If you are surprised, you look surprised. You must be able to reach the audience member in the front row, while also projecting your facial expression to the back of the room. This typically means exaggerating, or turning up the intensity of your facial affect.
Clear facial expressions are important in building emotional congruency, which is essential for performers. Simply put, emotional congruency occurs when your face matches what you are feeling. If you are happy, you look happy. If you are surprised, you look surprised. You must be able to reach the audience member in the front row, while also projecting your facial expression to the back of the room. This typically means exaggerating, or turning up the intensity of your facial affect.
POC Photo
|
|
|
|
|
In our day to day lives, for various reasons, people tend to disguise and minimize their emotional congruency. Some people think it is not appropriate to talk about ‘touchy-feely’ stuff in the workplace. Others have been told that expressing their emotions makes them seem weak, irrational, or erratic. In my experience, basing decisions solely on emotions has typically not been a good idea. However, making decisions without emotional information can likewise result in negative outcomes. The days of the stoic, emotionless leader are over.
Emotional intelligence is critical for leaders to practice. John Gerzema, author of The Athena Doctrine, believes that "femininity will be the operating system of the 21st century." He and his co-author, Michael D'Antonio, discovered that the essence of modern leadership is inherently feminine: the future belongs to expressive leaders who share their feelings and emotions more openly and honestly. In their survey, two-thirds of respondents (both genders), ranked feminine leadership traits as essential to solving the most pressing problems in business, education, and government. This is a direct contrast to many of today’s traditional power systems and constructs of leadership.
In life, as on stage, people are more likely to engage with you, trust you, and take you seriously if they know how you feel. If you’re angry about something on the inside, but you keep smiling on the outside, fewer people are going to take your anger seriously. Even worse, they may eventually stop taking your smiles seriously as well. Keeping your verbal and nonverbal communication aligned will help you get your point across. When you are able to get your point across, you will have more influence and feel more confident.
Women often find it difficult to express anger and disappointment. For me, this is connected to a fear of offending someone, damaging relationships, or not being liked. I don't want to be perceived as bossy or mean. I don’t want to be excluded or viewed as a problem.
However, if I don’t express my anger, I’m sending a dangerous message. I am modeling that anger is not okay, that expressing my authentic feelings is not acceptable, and that I value being liked over being real. I’m holding myself back. Worst of all, I’m creating a legacy that I should be small, quiet, and that my authentic self is undeserving.
It is time to bring your truths to the table, ladies. You deserve that. Get out there, find your face, and express yourself.
“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” - Daniel Goleman
Emotional intelligence is critical for leaders to practice. John Gerzema, author of The Athena Doctrine, believes that "femininity will be the operating system of the 21st century." He and his co-author, Michael D'Antonio, discovered that the essence of modern leadership is inherently feminine: the future belongs to expressive leaders who share their feelings and emotions more openly and honestly. In their survey, two-thirds of respondents (both genders), ranked feminine leadership traits as essential to solving the most pressing problems in business, education, and government. This is a direct contrast to many of today’s traditional power systems and constructs of leadership.
In life, as on stage, people are more likely to engage with you, trust you, and take you seriously if they know how you feel. If you’re angry about something on the inside, but you keep smiling on the outside, fewer people are going to take your anger seriously. Even worse, they may eventually stop taking your smiles seriously as well. Keeping your verbal and nonverbal communication aligned will help you get your point across. When you are able to get your point across, you will have more influence and feel more confident.
Women often find it difficult to express anger and disappointment. For me, this is connected to a fear of offending someone, damaging relationships, or not being liked. I don't want to be perceived as bossy or mean. I don’t want to be excluded or viewed as a problem.
However, if I don’t express my anger, I’m sending a dangerous message. I am modeling that anger is not okay, that expressing my authentic feelings is not acceptable, and that I value being liked over being real. I’m holding myself back. Worst of all, I’m creating a legacy that I should be small, quiet, and that my authentic self is undeserving.
It is time to bring your truths to the table, ladies. You deserve that. Get out there, find your face, and express yourself.
“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” - Daniel Goleman
|
How emotionally expressive are you? Rate the following feelings by how easy or difficult it is for you to express them: Happiness, sadness, anger, fear, confusion, surprise, disappointment, love, gratitude, anxiety.
1 - I rarely outwardly express this feeling 10 - Everyone around me knows exactly how I feel when I express this feeling |
Take the feeling with the lowest score from the reflection above, and at least once today say the sentence, “I feel <unexpressed emotion>,” when that emotion organically arises. If you don’t have cause to feel that way today, then practice in the mirror. Make sure your face matches your feeling. Next, have some fun with it - practice making faces in the mirror. Make a small happy face, a medium happy face, and then an outrageous happy face. What would it look like to be a little bit confused, moderately confused, or the most confused you've ever been in your whole life!?
Here's a little ditty to start your day with.
Here's a little ditty to start your day with.
Tweet it
|
share it |
The more women leaders, the better! Did you like today's message? If you did, invite your friends to sign up! Send them this sign-up link.
Want to join me in person? Check out the Masters of Sexy Summit, June 11th, 2016.
