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What makes a burlesque performer so sexy? The answer might surprise you. It’s not her body, or her dancing ability. It’s her self-awareness.
An incredible singer, Caela Bailey, once gave Sinner Saint Burlesque some wise advice while we were preparing backstage, and we’ve been using the mantra ever since. When anyone gets stuck, is feeling disconnected from their source of power, or when they’re just over-thinking something, we say, “Get out of your head and into your vagina.” |
“Get out of your head and into your vagina” is an invitation to listen deeply to yourself, and to call on all your senses for information, strength, confidence, and wisdom. “Getting out of your head and into your vagina” is about bringing your whole self to what you do. When you are tapped into all your senses and fully self-aware, you are irresistible.
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Self-awareness is key to giving an engaging performance, and to effective leadership. By self-awareness, I mean your capacity for reflection and ability to turn your attention/focus on yourself to make meaning of your experiences. Being able to clearly identify and articulate your experience helps you influence others. The best performers and the greatest leaders I know leverage their intentions, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, intuition and desires to inform their actions.
If you are not drawing on your self-awareness, then you are not bringing your whole, authentic self to what you do. Your authentic self is who you were created to be - the you before you were told who you should be. If you’re not bringing your authentic self to what you do, you are diluting your passion, your purpose, and the unique grace you can bring to this world. The world needs the full, fierce, unadulterated you in its greatest glory.
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photo by Deirdre Timmons
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A throwback to Town Hall Seattle where I gave my first public talk on Burlesque for the Boardroom.
Watch what happens when I teach 900 people how to get out of their heads and into their vaginas... |
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“Leaders who inspire can articulate shared values that resonate with and motivate the group. These are the leaders people love to work with, who surface the vision that moves everyone. But to speak from the heart, to the heart, a leader must first know her values. That takes self-awareness.”
- Daniel Goleman, Focus |
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Over the course of the summer you'll practice enhancing your self-awareness so that you can be influential, confident, and make a difference in the world on your terms.
Today, start by noticing which aspects of self-awareness you are strongest in, and which areas you may want to expand. Below are reflection questions to help you explore each unique area of self-awareness. Practice a different one every day this week. |
- Intentions: What point are you trying to make? What outcome are you attempting to influence? Complete this sentence out loud at least once today: My intention in ________ is to _______. For example: My intention in going to the gym is to lose 5lbs. My intention in calling you is to let you know I love you. My intention in asking this question is to better understand your perspective.
- Thoughts: Are you able to discern your observations from your judgments? Can you distinguish your thoughts from your feelings? Count how many times a day you use the phrase “feel like” instead of “I feel.” Using “feel like” means you are actually expressing a thought, not a feeling. Replace “feel like” with “I think.”
- Feelings: How large is your emotional vocabulary? Are you able to correctly identify emotions you are feeling, even in times of high stress? While there is disagreement in the scientific community, a common belief is that there are six basic human emotions. Can you guess what they are? Expand your vocabulary by checking out this list of feeling words.
- Physical/somatic response: Do you readily take cues about your well-being from your body? Do you trust what your body is telling you? Take ten minutes to stretch. As you stretch, pay attention to how your body feels. Listen to your breath, your belly gurgle, and your bones creek. Notice any tension, ease, discomfort or pleasure. Remember your ears, the space between your toes, and your vagina.
- Wants: Are you able to identify what you want, particularly in tense situations? Are you able to ask for what you want in a clear and direct way? Go on a 60 second want rampage. For one uninterrupted minute state all the things that you want.
- Intuition: When you have a hunch about something, do you listen to it? How effectively do you incorporate your intuition into your decision making processes? In your journal, describe a recent intuition you had that turned out to be right.
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Click to tweet: Get out of your head and into your vagina
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What aspect of self-awareness are you best at? Post your thoughts in the Burlesque for the Boardroom Facebook group.
Use the hashtag #getoutofyourheadandintoyourvagina |
The more women leaders, the better! Did you like today's message? If you did, invite your friends to sign up! Send them this sign-up link.
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This video is from the last time I ran the Burlesque for the Boardroom online program, but it still applies.
I'm here to make sure you have all the resources you need to explore and create your own path to being a celebrated credible, influential, and sexual woman leader. That means I'll be sharing fun resources with you. Take what you need... Come as you are... Have a damn good time in the process! |
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Want to join me in person? Check out the Masters of Sexy Summit, June 11th, 2016.
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